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Barbie and Best Horse

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How could you not know something like that? Did you not catch his name? I did I.V.F. with a sperm donor. Okay? Oh, my God. Do you have a problem with that? I don’t have a problem with that. It’s your body. Do whatever you want with your body. Cover it in tattoos. I don’t care. I think I deserve to know when there’s someone living inside the person I’m having with. Don’t say that. That’s gross! There is nothing gross about that. It is beautiful! It’s not your problem. Not genetically, okay? But my girlfriend is having a baby. Babe, if we’re gonna make this thing work, like, this is the kind of thing I need to know. What are you gonna do? Stay home and take care of a baby? Did I just win the lottery? Yes, I want to stay home and take care of a baby. When I was eight years old, my Halloween costume was a stay-at-home Dad. You’re saying I never have to go to work again. I get to hang out with a baby all day? Just stop saying the word “baby.” Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby! Because babies are awesome! Okay, listen. You and I, we probably would have a lot of fun together and then, one day, we would be on this road trip together. And I would be driving, and then I’d get tired and I would hate to do it, but I would agree to let you drive. And then, I would feel very safe, and that’s when we would crash. You think you can control everything, but you can’t. That’s not how this works. If I could choose someone to do this with, it would be you. You can choose! I just Games I’m not the only one in the car, anymore. SIGHS Yeah. Well, for the record, this is not me leaving. This is you pushing me away. SIGHS SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE Daddy? Yeah, babe? I want the Eyes of You song. Sing it to me. Not tonight, sweetheart. Okay? Get some sleep. CELL PHONE CHIMES ALICE: It’s just, Josh and I could be married by now and we would have, like, the cutest little baby daughter and she would probably be named after a fruit. What kind of name is George, anyway? Right? I hate his hair. Actually, technically, we would have a four-year-old daughter,