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What we need is an idea monopoly. An idea monopoly. Yes. For example, we know that the oil companies… Monopoly. -And Internet searching Goliath… A monopoly. And the cable companies… Monopoly. And now we know that the government allows all this stuff. Correct. I mean, it just makes things, you know… More profitable. Exactly. Yes, we just need to know how to apply. Is there an application form or do you just write up a personalized law to get our personalized monopoly? Yeah, we’re not exactly sure on the, like, what ifs and the how-tos and the whatnots. Well, boys, I don’t exactly know how it works myself, but it probably involves a little scratch my back stuff, know what I mean? Mmm, no. I don’t get it. Pay for play. Uh, still don’t get it. No. Okay, let me tell you how one of my friendly constituents explained it to me. Okay. If you want an automatic transmission or a big strong engine when you buy a car, it’s more. Correct? It sounds familiar. And correct. Well, you know, if you’re asking for a favor, I mean, you know, time is money. So that’s pay for play. Kind of. Kind of not. What? Have you boys contributed to my reelection campaign? I mean, that’s a foolproof way to do it every time. Not yet, no. But we’re planning on it. Good to hear. ‘Kay. Now let me think. Ahh. Department of justice. Department of justice? Yeah. That’s the agency that enforces federal law. Kind of keeps everything in check. Keeps monopolies safe and strong. Well, that is exactly what we’re looking for, seriously. Good to meet you, chub. Oh. And you. And, boys, on the way out, could you see my assistant out there? Little donation. Big donation. ‘Kay? Need that. Pay to play! Exactly. Says here that the FBI is part of the department of justice. Perfect. They must actually be the exact ones who enforce monopoly law. Yeah, that’s how I see it. Enforcing monopoly law is like enforcing the tax code. It’s like enforcing laws against bestiality. It is the most important thing that they do. Law enforcement, no doubt. No doubt. I mean, where would we be without monopolies?


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