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Best Strawberry Pony Caring


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now my heart is sweating and I’m at this party and I’m with my good friends. What I mean by that is I’m with my worst friends, okay? So, they hear this Games Like, it’s a dog whistle and immediately they’re like, “Holy . Everybody, get in. Get in. No, get in. It could be an STD. She could say STD. No. Bring in all the pretty girls from the back. Everybody, come in. Please be pregnant. Please be pregnant.” Like, he’s doing that . So, now I’m sitting there, my heart is sweating, she’s there, friends, strangers all around and this is what she says to me, word for word, she goes, “Look, um, the reason why I, kind of, fell off the map is Games Okay, so, I started dating this magician.” Now, you ever think that you heard something, but you’re like, “There’s no way I just heard that.” You know, you’re like, “Did you say party?” They’re like, “No, I said let’s go to a Blockbuster.” Whatever. Even though Blockbuster isn’t open. That was a terrible reference, you know what I mean. It’s gone. Netflix. Hey! Ha! So she says, “Magician.” Understand, that’s obviously not what I think somebody’s gonna say to me. So, I immediately go, “I’m sorry, what did you say?” My friend leans in and goes, “She said she left you for a magician.” “She left him for a magician. She left him Games No, no, no, it’s worse than an STD. Tell all your pretty friends. Yeah, a magician, like one of those circus freaks. Yeah.” Here’s the problem I have with that. Why say magician, why say magician, like that’s a normal job, like that’s something you could say in life? You might as well say puppeteer. Don’t just say magician, like magic’s real. Nobody’s flying home tonight. You’re not dating David Blaine. ‘Cause here’s the problem I have. I don’t think there’s a lot of middle class magicians. I think you’re either rich and we know you, or you’re poor with a rabbit, okay? For real. I don’t think you go to a cul-de-sac in the suburbs and see a guy pushing a push mower with a cape on. I don’t think that happens. magician, really? A magician.


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