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CowGirl and Horse


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CowGirl and Horse Well, class will be beginning soon. Ouch! What is it, Miss Purcell? It’s these. My breasts. They’re so sore. They ache. The nipples strain against the bodice. I can’t imagine why. LAUGHS Miss Purcell loves to quote the classics. Well, I’d better take you boys to class. You don’t want to be late on your first day of school. This way. MAN I don’t know. You tell me. WOMAN SIGHS I told you I need a carton of cigarettes everyday, and if I don’t get a carton of cigarettes everyday, I get very unhappy, and when I get very unhappy, I make those around me very unhappy. Abbott, you’re not in prison anymore. Quiet, class. We have a few announcements before we begin. Class, I’d like to introduce two new students. They’re starting a little late, but we have high hopes for them. Sam and Max Grimm. CLASS GROANING MAN Great. Two more gutplumbers. Unfortunately, I have bad news for two other students. Mr. Capshaw and Mr. Brody, your tuition checks failed to clear at the bank this month. You are therefore expelled from this academy, effective immediately. Kindly collect your things and leave at once. Hey, you can’t do that! My tuition’s paid for by the state. Helen, would you show Mr. Brody to the street? No! No, you can’t do this to me! I’ve heard enough from you. WHIMPERING Troublemaker! Now, class, I thought it would be nice if we introduced ourselves to the new students. Mr. Dickson? I’m Don Dickson. Some of you may have seen my robot creations at Animal World. The boxing rabbits and the singing flamingos are all designed and built by me. I like the Beatles, long walks on the beach at sunset, and I have some ideas that hopefully will revolutionize the industry. Oh. And I’m a Capricorn. CLASS APPLAUDS My name is Abbott Smith. I’m on parole from Vacaville where I did time for a triple homicide and some burglary. I’m here on a rehab program. I like to ski, play chess and barbecue. I’m also working on a novel. Oh. I’m a Sagittarius. CLASS APPLAUDS I’m Valerie Levitt, and my favorite band is Radio Werewolf. I used to be president of their fan club


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