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Fast Cowgirl


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And then we can fill in the rest. Oh. So Games Look, Lucy, I really care about you. And I just don’t know if we want to think too much in the long term, only because I don’t know if I see a future with you. Normally, I break up with people before the holidays. Just so, you know, they don’t get the wrong idea. But I just thought, since we’re dating other people Games I would just wait and break up with you on Martin Luther King Day. Okay, I have no idea what that means, but it sounds vaguely racist. Just, statistically, it’s the easiest holiday to break up with someone on, you know? I mean, there’s no family obligations, you can get out before Valentine’s Day. I’m sorry, did you just say you’re seeing other people? Yeah. I mean, isn’t that the whole point of online dating? No. It’s to find your soul mate! (ECHOING) I, uh, think maybe we should only see other people. Okay. Great talk. Bye. Just Games Uh, merry Christmas. “”We’re safe!’ said Paul, as they ran from the dragon.” Um, who’s Paul? Sorry, “the Prince.” “Then, he leaned in to kiss her, and finally said Games ” Oh, that’s rich. How does the story end? I’ll tell you how it ends. He kisses her, and she wakes up and finally feels loved and understood, and wanted. But then, her friend sees him dining with the peach lady and before she knows it, she’s kicked out of the castle. “The peach lady”? You bet your sweet ass “the peach lady.” And now, you know, she’s fixating on all her mistakes and all the money she spent on makeup and blow-outs, and the heels! The heels! Walking around on these. And I’m not supposed to have any hair here. No hair here, but tons of it here. I’m supposed to have a ton, a ton of it here. You think this is all real? You think that it’s all real? No. And Spanx! Girls. Never wear Spanx. Because the endgame is to take them off, anyway and then the prince is gonna see all your dumplings and there ain’t nothing less attractive than trying to squiggle your way out of what’s basically sausage casing. Look at these links! You know what,


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