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Horse Grooming Time


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Horse Grooming Time Cut the bullshit, Truscott. You know why we’re here. Where’s our coffin? Uh, refresh my memory. Which coffin is that? BOTH The motherofpearl inlaid, silklined, triplereinforced, fumedoak, superdeluxe O’Rourke special edition! Prickhead! MICK Dickface! Valued at $, wholesale, which you’ve had on consignment for the last months! Oh, that coffin. Did you boys want it back? We happen to know you sold it two days ago. For $,. We want our money now, butthead! That’s absurd. Why, I hadn’t heard from you boys in so long Somebody told me you were both in prison. that I sold that casket for peanuts to some charity case. You call Sam Levenstein a charity case? Where did you get that name? We have our sources, shithead. He’s richer than God. Give us the money, or we’ll take the coffin with us right now! I’ll have a check drawn to you first thing next Tomorrow morning. Nice try, Truscott. Okay, Sean, the tight bastard ain’t comin’ across. Let’s go get what’s ours. Now, wait a minute, boys. Hey! Mick! Sean! Come on, guys, be reasonable. I said I’d give you a check. I’m willing to give you a check. Speak to me. What, don’t you want a check? Wait, stop. You can’t go in there. TRUSCOTT That’s the viewing room. Charity case, my ass! That’s the special edition, all right. WOMAN Oh! Oh! Oh! SQUELCHING Hey, lady, your dearly departed’s gonna leak like a cheap prophylactic. Mr. Truscott! BOTH Happy trails, doctor! I demand an explanation. My dear Mrs. Levenstein, I discovered only moments ago that this casket was defective. You can see for yourself what the caustic chemicals and lining have done to your dear loved one’s body. Thank God we caught it before the damage got any worse. This is absolutely outrageous! Naturally, I demanded that the manufacturers take back the casket immediately. I apologize for any inconvenience or embarrassment you may have suffered. I I don’t know what to say. We’ll have your loved one tucked away in one of our elegant postmodern allpine numbers in a moment. But first I do have to speak to you about the additional costs.


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