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Merry-go-round Best Time

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Well, then, we’re gonna have to start going to a different bar, girlfriend. No, you’ll be fine, just don’t hit your drink number with him. What’s my drink number? In every male-female friendship, there’s a total number of drinks and if you hit that, it means you will definitely have . So, how many drinks does it take to get you wasted? Two and a half but maybe three, if I’ve eaten. Three. Okay, and Tom’s is eight. So, you can’t hit eleven drinks between the two of you. Okay. Not one for you, for him. Not six for him, five for you. If I had more than five drinks, I’d hook up with you. My drink number is . What? I wouldn’t even touch myself on less than . That’s Games What are you doing? Stop. What is that? Stop. (SCREAMS) Oh, my God. I thought that was gonna be boiling hot. It’s actually really cold. You have LTRP. Oh, my God. I do? Yeah. Tom gave it to me. For sure. Wait. What’s LTRP? Long-Term Relationship Pussy. You really need to get that taken care of. What do you mean? I barely have any hair. It’s like you dropped your hairbrush and your vagina caught it. I could make dreadlocks with that bush and form a reggae band. That looks like a whole bowl of petrified curly fries. It’s like Gandalf is staring right at me. (MIMICS GANDALF) “No penis shall pass!” You’ve ruined so many things for me. (INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) (SIGHS) (PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY) Hi. Hi. What are you here for? Um, I am here to finally put myself out there. Like, in a real way. You know? Not just physically, but, like, emotionally. Yeah. No, I was asking what event are you here for? Oh, um Games Oh, my God. The Wesleyan Alumni Networking Event. Cool. (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) Oh, I’m sorry. Sorry, sorry. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, we’re Games (SINGING KATY PERRY SONG PEACOCK) (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) Hey. Get back over there, you’re screwing up the harmonies. (BOTH CHUCKLING) I’m David Stone, nice to meet you. Hi. Hey, I’m Alice. Alice Games Kepley. Kepley. It’s not as good as Stone. (BOTH CHUCKLE) Do you want one of