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This television is going to be on one and a half hours every evening. Dreadful. It will be like going to the pictures every day. Blimey! There is a photo here of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor shaking hands with Hitler. Oh, he can’t be so bad, then. What? Look, Mum. The Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain returned from Germany today and spoke to crowds at Heston airport with the promise of peace. I had another talk with German Chancellor Herr Hitler. And here is the paper which bears his name upon it as well as mine. Cor, Ette. Old Chamberlain has given Hitler half of Czechoslovakia. Oh, yes? He says it’s peace with honour. Peace in our time. Think goodness for that. Don’t you want that bit of toast, Ernest? Ah. No thanks, dear. Evening Standard. Ta, Ern. You there, Ette? In here! Hitler’s marched into Prague now. He’ll be coming down our road soon. Adolf Hitler? In Wimbledon Park? It says here the government is going to spend £, on air raid shelters. We better get ourselves ready. Oh, not on the table, Ernest! It’s going to be very stuffy with all this blackout up, Ernest. Not half as stuffy as a gas-proof room would be. Poisoned gas?! Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. We have to bung up the chimney, tape over the cracks around the doors and windows, put wet newspapers in between the floorboards. He’s a right old barmy. Rarr! Oh, Raymond! Behave. This isn’t a game, you know? ♪ Underneath the spreading chestnut tree Games ♪ ♪ Mr. Chamberlain and said to me ♪ ♪ If you want your gas masks fitted free ♪ ♪ Join the blinking ARP. ♪ Read this booklet until you know by heart what it contains. Oh, I wish I had a proper gas mask carrier. Not a soppy old cardboard box and string. It’s not fair! Oh, dear. Ernest. Ernest, can you hear me? No! I can! Be quiet, son. Can you beat it? IRA bombs in London, Manchester and Birmingham. When will it end? Oh, those Irish, they are just like the blessed Arabs and Jews. Always at it. Yes, and don’t forget the Serbs and Croats. They’re just as bad. Then there’s the Hindus and Muslims.