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Princess and Faster Horse


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ALL: Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. So, are you married? No. (CHUCKLES) No. Dating anyone? Afraid not. Are you divorced? (GASPS) No, no one’s ever loved me enough to eventually divorce me. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) You got to get in the game, before you can lose, so Games I’m not even a good loser, yet. (MUMBLING) Oh, my God, are those penis straws? You guys are gonna have a crazy night tonight! Hi Games (WOMEN LAUGHING) Hey, baby. This is, um Games It’s all right, you can say it. Miss Independent right here, right? I’m her boyfriend. ALL: Oh Games He’s your boyfriend. LUCY: This is my boyfriend. God, doesn’t she look smoking hot in these sweatpants? Oh, wow, that’s so sweet. This is Brittany. She’s getting married, obviously. Oh, you’re the one getting married. Marriage! (ALL CHEERING) The end of spontaneous , traveling by yourself and buying whatever you want without having to ask permission, right? Marriage! (LAUGHS) Congratulations, good luck with it. I hope it lasts. Sorry. No filter. (PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY) (LAUGHING) Hey, listen. I hope, uh, that kiss wasn’t too much. Oh, my God. No, no, that was awesome! Thank you so much! Good night. (GLASSES CLANKING AND RATTLING) (CLATTERS AND JANGLES) (SIGHS) (GROANING) Come on, you ing . Hey. Sorry. Was that supposed to be a private moment? I can’t get my zipper. I’m sorry for what I said to you. What? I said, I’m sorry for what I said to you. Can’t hear you. I said I’m sorry for what I said to you! (CHUCKLES) (SIGHS) What? I’m gonna have a baby. What? I found a sperm donor. This guy. He’s of Swedish descent. Oh, my God. He has no known cancers on either side of his family, no history of drug abuse. No history of any kind of mental illness, or Games Oh, my God. I know. Oh, my God. (BOTH LAUGHING) I know. Wait. Do you think it’s a bad idea? Why are you saying “Oh, my God” five times? No, but Games Wait, when do you meet him? That’s the best part. I never, ever have to meet him, or any of his family. There’s no strings attached at all. Nothing. Is that crazy? No. Oh, my God


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